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Content comprehension.
Lasting understanding.
Do I really get this?
Everyone else gets this.

Am I getting the research experience I need?
I’m not getting the college teaching experience I need.
Am I involved enough?
I’m not writing enough.
I’m not presenting enough.
My interests are not marketable.

What difference will I make?
Will I make any?
If I don’t, why am I doing this?
Will I get a job?
Will I be prepared?
Will I get tenure?
Do I want tenure?
Will I find someone?
Will I have a family?
Will I be alone?

It’s no wonder that I have a hard time concentrating. Juggling weights; a transaction of doubts.  Every ambiguity traded for a moment of faith.  Every step guided by a flash of trust.