and so I must wait. Wait with longing breath for love that will answer questions, that will not only last but will enable hope and offer perspective.
I must wait. gone are the days of straining to force an experience into a form outside of its constitution. adding pressure from expectations of others and of myself to be something that fits a mold not meant for me.
gone, too, are the days of expecting my life to look like any others. instead, I will fly through my days making the most of my time. the days will pass either way, right? Right now, I have this thing. This goal and challenge in front of me to complete. I will do what it takes to be successful not out of necessity but out of appreciation for the ability and the opportunity to do so. I thank God for the experiences I have had thus far, they certainly have exceeded anything I would have been able to conjure for myself. I refuse to fence myself in by the limitations of my own imagination. I will work hard, continue to learn, be honest and forthright, keep my head up and my eyes alert.
perhaps my path will only be clear at the last moment and only by hindsight. should that be the case, i will strive to live my life not in search of the path but in search of the scenery.